Softening

Cultivating the skill of relaxing the mind via releasing the effort & tension in the body and mind

Guided Meditation

Core Instructions

Objective - Why?	Equanimity Release of effort i.e., the cause of physical and mental resistance Deconditioning Release of the cause, i.e., effort fueling negative conditioning Attitude Allowing gentleness and joy to be part of one's practice & life
Essential Instruction	Relaxing the Body Relax your body on every exhale via releasing the effort underlying tension Gently slow down your breathing Relaxing the Mind Relax the eyes and frontal lobe of your brain on every exhale via focusing on the exhale on the tip of the nose
Observation Method	Localized
Observation Range	Whole body as it relaxes Effort underlying tension Eyes & frontal lobe of your brain Pleasure & Joy from letting go of effort
Consider	Noticing the pleasure of & enjoy the relaxation i.e., the release of effort Softening is the opposite of trying. Whenever you notice trying or struggling, soften
Acknowledgement	MIDL

Elaboration

Instructions

Introduction

This practice develops the skill to relax the effort in our mind via

• relaxation of body via exhale

• relaxation of the mind via relaxing the eyes & frontal lobe of the brain

  • Please note that when you read 'frontal lobe of the brain' that this relates to how it feels like experientially, not necessarily actually relaxing the frontal lobe of the brain

Practice

Transition in

• Posture

  • Settling into one's practice posture

    • comfortable and attentive

  • Releasing any unnecessary effort & tension in body & mind

• Becoming present

  • Noticing the current experience., sights, sounds, thoughts, feelings

'Main Practice' Softening

Relaxing the Body

1. Contact the relaxation of the whole of your body on every exhale

   • Notice the relaxation, softening of your eyes, jaw, shoulders, arms, etc.

2. Notice the release of effort underlying tension within your body - on every exhale

3. Enjoy the pleasure from releasing effort - on every exhale

4. Gently slow down the exhale to intensify the relaxation

   • Slow down in a comfortable and gentle way.

   • Discomfort is a sign of excessive trying, hence relax and be more gentle.

Relaxing the Mind

1. Bring your awareness to the exhale on the tip of the nose

2. Relax your eyes and the frontal lobe of your brain on every exhale

   • This may be experienced as e.g., eyes becoming heavy, falling asleep, sigh, relief, surrendering, letting go

   • You may also notice the rest of your body relaxing, releasing effort

3. Notice that when you relax the eyes & frontal lobe - mental activity such as thinking reduce or stop

4. Notice the effort underlying mental activity

5. Enjoy the letting go of effort underlying mental activity

Understanding

A significant amount of our negative experiences, that is physical or mental pain is caused by Non-Equanimity. That is by our own resistance to the experience, not the experience itself.

• Suffering = Pain (of actual experience) X Resistance (to actual experience)

Softening helps to reduce physical and most importantly, mental resistance via releasing the effort required for resisting.

Why we practice how we practice

Relaxing the eyes & frontal lobe of your brain

• I experience the reduction or stopping of some mental activities when I relax the area around and just behind my eyes.

Effort

• Effort underlies mental activity such as negative rumination, resistance to our experience

• Softening allows to release that effort in a gentle way and with it the reduction of negative rumination and resistance

Slowing down the breathing

• Slowing down the breathing facilitates calmness which facilitates releasing effort

• Slowing down allows us to simply have more time on every softening which facilitates deepening

Q&A

Progress

	Level 1 - Non-Skilled	Level 2 - Skilled	Level 3 - Maturity
Essence Ability to notice & release the resistance & effort within the mind	Unable to notice Unable to release	Ability to notice most Ability to release most	Ability to notice all Ability to release all
Example Ruminating due to being afraid of a conversation or meeting	Mind is free to continue ruminating	The fuel of ruminating & fear is noticed and slowly reduced Rumination slowly decreases	Rumination & fear gradually but consistently vanish

Daily Life

Intention

• Noticing the moments of non-equanimity that is when you dislike or excessively long for something. Soften the effort underlying those.

• Enjoy the pleasure of relief. The relief from releasing effort and struggling.

Common Scenarios

• Before a frightening conversation or meeting

  • Noticing the tensions and fear within the body, the activity within the mind and take some softening breaths

• Having anger towards another or one-self

  • Notice the tension within the body, the activity of the mind and take some softening breaths